So I'm about 6 months along and that means only three more months left (well if she goes to full term), but I am so nervous. I never thought I'd feel this excited or scared about something. Just to update you a bit because I've been lagging a lot on updates, on March 5th we found out we are having a little girl and on March 19th I switched to the doctor that will be delivering our little girl. Not much has happened, my mood has dropped a bit though. The last couple of weeks have been really hard for me, I've felt so alone and frustrated. Yes, I do have my fiancee, but at times it feels like he doesn't care what happens to me as long as our little girl is okay. Which I want her more than anything to be okay, but what about me? Doesn't the fact that his mother stresses me out every chance she gets bother him at all? Doesn't the fact that as of right now we have no room at all for our baby and don't even know where we're gonna live bother him? We don't have that much time left and he says he knows, but does he?
Our baby shower is June 5th, both my mom and his mom are throwing it at my parents house. The guest list is pretty big and I'm worried that not everything is gonna come together. There's gonna be too many people, not enough room and not enough food. I just hope we get at least half of what we need cause with all the bills we have..I don't even want to think about cause thinking about it makes me tear up. The cool thing about this baby shower is I picked an Alice in Wonderland tea party theme, so the backyard of my parents house is perfect. Bad thing is we're having this shower right about the time it starts heating up. I guess it won't be to bad since we're having it later in the day rather than when the sun is right overhead. Right now I'm just crossing my fingers everything comes together, we're having a hard time finding any alice in wonderland stuff because everything is geared towards the new alice in wonderland. I want the disney cartoon alice in wonderland.
So I'm not starting not to fit into the jeans I got when I first found out I was pregnant and my little girl is giving me stretch marks. Their not bad right now, but thats why I have my fiancee rubbing coco butter on my belly every night. She's also moving a lot now a days, I can feel her little kicks and flutters. Its a nice comforting feeling, even if she's kicked her daddy in the head two or three times. I get worried every now and then just cause I read all these heartbreaking stories about women losing their little ones at the around the same stage of pregnancy I am. Feeling her move around kind of takes the edge off.
I feel like such a nutcase right now with everything that's going on, that I don't even feel like celebrating my birthday next Sunday (April 11th) in fear that it'll be a big flop. Ooh, well..Lets just keep hoping for the best (as usual).
